Personal
Thinking of putting up a personal ad on a website like dating.com review?
But at the same time you are scared that you may get unavoidable responses from
jerks, who may not take it serious.
You can easily blame it on the website, that's what most
people do. Sometimes you may not even know which website is good and which is
not. So, you should ask people around you and read more about the site. Another
reason could be that your personals ad may not have been too well written.
Think of the number of bad ads on TV. We cannot simply call them bad, but
everybody has different tastes. The aim of the marketer is for the target
audience to like the ad. In case of no responses, you may need to change it. If
the viewers don't like what they read and see, they'll just scroll down.
Do
Some Research?
Make some effort before you publish your ad instead of you
having to change it again and again. There are certain tips you should keep in
mind while doing your research for your ad. It is like selling yourself when
you are writing your resume to a company. It doesn't matter if you've never
written any. It's up to you to get professional help to write a personal but
you can do it on your own as well. Highlight your good points, could be your skill
in music or cooking or anything. Many online dating sites like dating.com scam offer
personality tests that can help you learn more about yourself.
Feedbacks
are Important:
Sometimes it helps to reflect on past relationships to recall
what your former partners used to say about you. Try to write down what were
your good qualities that drew them to you. Ask your family and friends. They
may be able to give your their honest opinions because sometimes other people
knows you better than you know yourself. Feedback from others is always a good
idea.
Many people make this mistake of writing down about
themselves which are not exciting as they themselves tend to underestimate
their own self and think that they have no good traits. So, involve other
people as well. Ask them what they think about you and write them down. You
will be surprised when you get all the feedbacks. One way to sound more
interesting is to talk about your interests in life. Don't however try to
deceive people from dating.com
review by calming to like subjects you don't really like just for the
sake of impressing them, as your deception will be discovered soon enough.
However it could be that you've always had an interest in a subject even
without having indulged in it so far, like for instance play. You know all
about Shakespeare and have read all his plays but never got an opportunity to
act in one. Then, it's okay to mention that you are interested in play which is
not a lie.
First know yourself well and then go ahead and impress
others. Be confident about what you are writing and the rest is up to you how
you want to move forward!
Online
Dating Tips - Purge the Cliches Please
Do a cliché check...
If your profile is full of cliches...most will think you are
full of ohhhh....
While there is no need to purge all of them, I would advise
that you limit the generic cutesy banter and talk about what makes you special
and unique. There is nothing more endearing then being genuine. You want your
readers from dating.com scam to
pick up on this and think of you as REAL. So, if you are a tad geeky, a bit of
an earth child, have a goofy sense of humor, have a number of
totally-you-weirdisms--by all means share. Don't forget to show your lighter
side; humor is a great way to humanize your profile as long as it's tasteful
and not too obscure. NO SEX JOKES! The net has so much bad press about per’s
and child molesters you don't want to raise any questions about your character.
Resist the temptation to be larger than life. Remember... a profile is a brief
overview NOT an autobiography. A little mystery is highly desirable.
Rigid strictly-business profiles can be a turn off. Those
suffering from online dating burnout will be tempted to go this route. They
begin with phrases like tired of the BS, only seeking god-fearing faithful
man/woman, only the serious need apply, no time for games, players keeps it
moving...etc. As if a BS artist is going to announce his/her intentions.
No matter how goal-oriented you are, take care to project
some warmth, flexibility and openness. Don't try to be too clever or colorful.
Remember-- plain talk can be quite charming. A former president made a living
on this quality. To this day, people from dating.com review
think of him as accessible and in touch; despite his indiscretions with Monica.
So keep this in mind, “if you're real...you will appeal".
Why
Do So Many Men Fail at Online Dating?
With the ongoing popularity of online dating, and studies
reporting that over 40 million Americans participate in online dating, one must
ask why two out of three men who join online dating sites quit, claiming to be
unsuccessful, what are these men doing wrong??
After hours of research, interviews and observations, Sam
Stone the author of "Online Dating Secret Revealed!" offers some
potential root causes for these failures.
What are men doing wrong?
1.
Not knowing what they are looking for.
Mistake
men make:
The first most common mistake that men make is going online
without a clear understanding of what they are looking for. The "what I'm
looking for" section in a typical male profile on most dating sites like dating.com scam
includes little detail and is compiled of generic terms and characteristics.
Most men don't even bother to define the height range of the woman they are
looking for! Not surprisingly, they all say they are looking for someone
slender or athletic.
Woman's
Response:
The response such a generic profile gets is disappointing at
best. In a subconscious way women interpret this type of profile as of a man
who is weak and doesn't know what he's looking for. Women see this man as
someone who is looking for attention from a woman, any woman. Most women rarely
respond to such a profile. What woman wants to be "any woman"?
How
to avoid pitfall:
Before going online to look for a date, a man must make sure
that he knows what he is looking for. The best way to figure that out is to
write down (actually write it, not just think about it) a list of the top
qualities he is looking for in a woman from dating.com
review. One should try to cover as many areas as possible. The next
step is to narrow these qualities down to the top 15 and then to the top 5
qualities that are most important to him and list them on his profile. Doing
so, the man will not only convey to a woman that he knows exactly what he wants
but this also helps him to have an understanding of what is important to him in
a woman which will save him time by focusing on those women who have those
qualities and not just random women he meets online.
2.
Not knowing what they have to offer.
Aside from not knowing what they are looking for, the second
most common mistake guys make is going online without knowing what they have to
offer.
Mistake men make: Most men go online without putting much
thought into what their attraction strategy will be and how they are going to
present themselves. Many people (men and women) never stopped to take inventory
of their lives. Most people live life on a day to day basis and never think of
what the tapestry of their lives is made of. One must ask himself if he has
ever taken the time to think about all the things he likes, all the things he
is good at, all the things he has to offer to other people?
Woman's
Response:
Women from dating.com
scam who actually bother to read this type of generic information
catalog it as just "some guy" among many. This type of profile,
without a clear attraction strategy, will not get many responses from women of
quality, just like most Spam doesn't get many responses from people who receive
it.
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
Most people have at least some interesting things in their
lives. A man interested in succeeding online must take the time to think about
those things and use them to create an attraction strategy. For example, if a
man is looking for very intellectual women that like to read, he must put a
greater emphasis on that side of his personality in his profile. In this case,
talking about wild parties might not result in attracting the type of women he
is looking for.
3.
How to approach a woman online?
Mistake
men make:
Many guys make the mistake of using a generic feature called
"wink" (also called "icebreaker", "flirt" and
other names in different sites). Winks are usually free, some sites like dating.com
review allow a quick pre-scripted text message that was created by the
site owners, and can be sent to the girl the man is interested in. A generic
"wink" can be compared to a pickup line that one found on the wall of
a bar which may be seen and used by every individual in the bar.
Woman's
Response
The woman receiving it has most likely already seen that
line, heard it from a bunch of drunken guys who tried it on her earlier, and
will consider the approach to be extremely pathetic. Unless it comes from a
very attractive guy, or the first guy who ever approached her, there is little
chance of getting the time of day from her and this approach will actually
lower the value of the sender in her eyes.
In most cases attractive/intelligent/talented women get
hundreds of winks a week, why would they even bother to look at a generic
message?!
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
How does one stand out then? The best way get a woman's
attention is by using emails. If one already invested all this time going
online He should probably cough up the $30 or so it costs to register to the
site and send an email. It takes some more work, but this might actually get a
response...
4.
What to say?
Mistake
men make:
Most guys don't know what to say in the first Email. The emails
women get usually range from one liners saying "hey babe, what's up"
to a 5 page emails describing every single thing the guy ever did in his life
from birth to this moment. Both methods and what's in between them are bound to
fail.
Woman's
Response:
My study shows that the top three things that women are
looking for are: § To have a good experience § To have fun § To meet a guy who
will attract them emotionally.
Emails that include little or none of this will most likely
be ignored.
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
The email should convey the personality traits that women are
attracted to: fun, humor, confidence, and social status. This doesn't mean that
you need to tell a knock joke about your BMW... It's very simple actually, all
a guy needs to do is be playful, and show that he is confident enough to talk
to a woman.
E.g. sometimes girls will email the same first reply twice
just because they clicked the send button twice by mistake. A good response to
that would be to accuse them of being in love with you and to say that they
will become your stalkers... if done in a funny way they will know that you are
kidding and teasing them, and they will love it and write back to deny this...
5.
How much is enough?
Mistake
men make:
Once a guy finds a girl he likes, and she actually responds
to his emails and starts an email exchange, it's very tempting to just keep the
relationship online. However, it is highly discouraged to get into a lengthy
email exchange.
Woman's
Response
My study found that the more a guy emails the girl, the less
likely he is to ever meet her. Another downside of a long email relationship is
that the more the two email each other, the more of a "fantasy" about
each other's personality is created in the couples' minds. These fantasies are
not based on real behavior but on how the mind fills the gaps between what they
know about each other through their emails and profiles and the real person.
Once they meet, they will both discover that in most cases this fantasy is not
real and they will both be disappointed.
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
My study found that in order to successfully move on to the
next step, an email exchange should be no more then 3-5 emails long before the
guy asks the girl out on a date. In these emails, a guy should keep on trying
to get to know her, and learn more about her while providing fun and
interesting conversation to keep her coming back for more.
6.
Assuming online attraction offline.
Mistake
men make:
This is a trap many men fall into. A common reason for
failure that came up again and again in the study was : "Our email
exchange went so well, she kept complimenting me and saying how much she wants
to meet me, but when we met it was as if we were strangers" This problem
comes from assuming that online attraction automatically continues in the real
world.
Woman's
Response
When communicating online, the girl has very little to go by,
so her brain (this goes for guys too) creates a fantasy guy that has all the
qualities the man is displaying in the email. Of course, in many cases this "fantasy
man" has nothing to do with the man she is communicating with.
When they meet, both of their fantasy worlds are shaken up
and the woman feels as if she's meeting a stranger for the first time (suddenly
the guy doesn't look or act anything at all like her fantasy guy). She suddenly
has to deal with the transition from the safety of hiding behind a computer to
actually standing face to face with a real live person.
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
The way to overcome this is to re-generate attraction! How do
you do that? It's simple; the guy has to recreate what he did in his emails.
Tell funny stories, tease her, and demonstrate the attractive qualities we
mentioned earlier. This should get her back to remembering all the good
feelings she had when the guy was emailing her and will get her attraction back
up again.
7.
Not leading the online or offline conversation.
Mistake
men make:
Many girls who date online expect their first date to be like
an interview (in our study we even had a TV reporter that found it extremely
hard to break from this structure...). The "Interview" style date is
probably the worst way to have a first date! First of all, it's boring! A date
shouldn't be a job interview; it should be fun, for both people. Second, it
shows lack of confidence. Think about it, who does most of the talking when the
guy "interviews" and asks the questions? She does! This "lets
the guy off the hook" of being interesting, exciting and funny and doesn't
really convey anything about his personality aside from being a good listener,
but that's not one of the top qualities that is going to get the guy a new
girlfriend. Third, an "interview" style date forces the girl to lead
the conversation and most women are very uncomfortable in this situation; they
don't feel comfortable leading the conversation.
Woman's
Response
Many of the women that I interviewed indicated that their
train of thought was: "I'm hot, I don't need to prove myself, and this guy
is just sitting there and nodding, probably just thinking about how I look naked"
and similar comments to this.
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
If the guy doesn't take control of the conversation from the
start, he will most likely not get a second date. Taking control of the date
means the guy must tell stories: funny ones, exciting ones, interesting or
mysterious stories, he must keep the conversation going. A guy should spend the
first 10 minutes or so of the date talking most of the time.
8.
Falling in love before the first date.
Mistake
men make:
Guys have a tendency to "fall in love" with a girl
they meet online and feel that they need to "prove their love to her"
even before they meet.
A guy shouldn't go overboard in doing thing for a woman at
first. A guy should not show any supplicative behavior that shows that he needs
to do anything besides being himself in order to get her to like him.
In some cases our study found guys who set up elaborate
websites for women, or created online play lists for them with music they might
like. It's very sweet, very romantic, but it's something that you do for
someone that you know.
Woman's
Response
Any time a guy goes out of the way to please a woman in order
to get her to like him, he is lowering his value in her eyes. Would he go out
of his way like this for a total stranger? No, and that's what she is right
now... What the guy is communicating to the girl is "my personality alone
is not worthy of your attention, so I will do things for you so that I become
worthy".
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
Once the couple has been dating for a while, the guy can go
ahead and do nice things for her, but for now, he hasn't even met her in person
yet. For all he knows, she might be a 13 year old boy messing with him online.
A man needs to qualify her as to why she is worthy of his time, not qualify
himself as to why he is worthy of her time!
9.
Grow up!
Mistake
men make:
The worst mistake a man could make in online dating (and in
life as well) is not willing to act like a grown man. Many men get stuck in
"Baby mode" - they aren't willing to grow up and realize that a grown
man's' personality and behavior are not affected by a woman's reaction to them,
or the results of the interaction with women.
A grown man will realize that not all women will be attracted
to him, love him or that it takes work and time to get good at dating women.
Grown men don't get offended when a woman doesn't write back to them, and as a
result send her a nasty email talking about what a terrible person she is.
Woman's
Response
Throughout our study I've seen emails from guys going through
a whole range of negative emotions to why the girl didn't answer them while all
that happened was that the girl was out of town and didn't mention it to them
(in one case, the guy went from being cute to being self conscious "are
you not answering me because of my looks?" and eventually he started using
abusive language and ranting about her low sense of morality. Obviously, this
type of behavior did not generate a positive response...
How
to Avoid Pitfall:
Guys - Grow up! If a girl doesn't respond, or doesn't react
like you want her to, follow up, try a different approach, and if that doesn't
work, then move on... there are plenty of girls out there. (If you look at a
typical large city there are about 60,000 eligible women in your age range,
which means that even if you want to meet only 10% of them it will take 16.4
YEARS of going out on a first date every night to meet them all...).
10.
This is the worst mistake of all!
The worst mistake a man could make in online dating and in
life is not getting the help he knows he needs! Guys don't like to look weak
and ask for help, but think about this: Two out of three men make enough
mistakes online for them to think that "online dating doesn't work".
Obviously, it does work for the other 1/3 of the people that are on it so it’s
not "online dating" that does not work; it's something they are doing
online that isn't working for them. Someone once said, "if you keep on
doing the same thing, you'll always get the same results", this is why
it's important to get help and try to fix some of these mistakes you are
making, and not feel helpless when you are not getting any responses to your
emails and profiles.
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